1. |
Corientation
01:22
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Shut up and smile for your student ID
Mom’s gonna be so proud, you’ll see
Here’s a sticker, write down your name
Here’s a shirt, see you at the game
No more World of Warcraft
No more Office reruns
No more summer vacation
Get your pencils ready for Corientation
After lunch lets schedule your classes
Get it right or I’ll fail your asses
Put the lanyard around your neck
Or you won’t get any respect
Turn off your phone and spit out that gum
It won’t be easy and it won’t be fun
Now that you’ve completed your corientation
It’s time to start your hardcore education
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2. |
Icebreaker
01:25
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Are you ready to make some friends?
You’ll have a ton before this ends
Shake some hands and gather around
A friendship circle pit is about to go down
Icebreaker
Break the ice
Tell three statements, start with your name
This is going to be a really fun game
Two are true, one is not
Be convincing and don’t get caught
(We're gonna pass around the beach ball. When you get it, say something about yourself and pass it on)
PASS THE BEACH BALL
I'm Professor X and I play guitar, my favorite movie is Jurassic Park
My name's Jimmy Edge and I went to Cedar Point with my church group
I'm Dean Extreme and I took some X at Bonnaroo
My name's the RX and I bang the skins and FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS
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3. |
Reinvent Yourself
01:27
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You don’t need to be the same person you were
No one needs to know the types of comics you prefer
High school’s over now, that person’s dead and gone
Create a brand new you
You can be anyone
You can be a hippie with your tie-dye
Or maybe rock a North Face and be a frat guy
I heard hip-hop’s pretty cool, you should do that
Get a flat-billed hat and never look back
Reinvent yourself
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4. |
Presidents Day
00:29
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All the work’s been crushing me
This paper’s due in just three weeks
These two days off are just what I need
To save my sanity
No way, Presidents Day!
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5. |
This Is Now Your Home
01:16
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Pack your shit into your cell
Here you’ll never be by yourself
Keep the noise down after 10
Don’t make me talk to you again
I’m the RA. You will respect my authority
This is now your home
In the dorms you’re never alone
Stay or drive
So, you’re having a disagreement
Bring it up, don’t let it ferment
Like King Solomon on his throne I’ll cut the room in half
Keep your shit on your own fucking side
Cause this is where you both reside
I’m the RA, doling out life fucking lessons
Stay or drive
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6. |
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Everything’s so different here
My roommate has gauges in his ears
It’s nothing like my small hometown
I saw a guy with tattoos walking around!
They laughed at my ripped up pants
They won’t let me in their scene
But what about the way they dance?
And what do all those X’s mean?
What do they mean?
What are they for?
Why are they everywhere?
What do all the X's mean?
I miss my family
I’m so homesick of it all
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7. |
Meal Plan
02:20
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You’ve been eating hotdogs all day
The freshman fifteen is the price that you’ll pay
Chicken nuggets, Cocoa Puffs
Soft serve ice cream and high-calorie foodstuffs
No one from high school will recognize you
You’ve been eating doughnuts all day
The freshman 30 is the price that you’ll pay
Greasy pizza dipped in ranch
Chocolate chip cookies carte blanche
No one from high school will recognize you
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8. |
FAFSA
02:07
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FAFSA
The government can fucking pay
Daddy’s money only goes so far
Sometimes you need help
Sometimes you need more
Uncle Sam has got your back
Here’s some money
Get your life back on track
Get a student loan
And buy a whole bunch of useless shit
Get a student loan
And never have to worry about it
Get a student loan.
You’re so rich now your shit doesn’t stink
Get a student loan
And never have to worry about it
FAFSA
The kids will have their say
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